was thinking today about social media, and the drain that it so often is on people similar to me. Sensitive people. Deep feelers. Social introverts. People who already spend so much of their daily energy simply existing in the world, caring for others, managing responsibilities, processing emotions, carrying invisible mental loads, missing too many phone calls they need to respond back to, and who don’t have extra energy for one more “to-do” list item like posting on socials.
And I was reflecting on how strange it is that social media was once marketed to so many of us as the solution…
Especially for us busy homeschool moms.
You don’t have to leave your house.
You can build a business from your phone.
Just share online.
Post and close the app.
Simple.
Except for many of us…it didn’t end up feeling simple at all. It instead proved to be just another place that took more time and energy without any replenishment. In fact, it was the entire world in the palm of your hand, constantly demanding even more from you.
And now this place where I had to interract and engage and reach out constantly in order to see any mild success, was replacing my real life. I didn’t have time to talk to my real friends when i needed to create messages and conversations with online people. I only had enough time or energy for one, not both. And now instead of having online be this safe place for us social introverts, it was now a job, and a place where I had to think:
How do I position myself?
How do I attract someone?
How do I build belief?
How do I convert?
How do I provide value in a way that makes someone join my thing?
…it started to feel heavy. Really heavy. Somedays just getting out of bed was hard. Then needing to interact and post with the whole world in my phone felt like climbing a mountain.
I was drained.
My phone represented yet another place in my life where i had to show up and perform.
It’s energy output: I not only need enough for myself that day, I need enough to give to someone else.
What’s interesting is that I actually taught social sellers for years how to build online. How to speak to an ideal client avatar. How to solve problems publicly. How to share strategically. How to create belief and connection and trust.
And those things do work. That’s been proven. And it worked for me. And there was a huge part of that I truly loved. It made me excited. Because I love learning about people and hearing their stories.
But I don’t think I fully understood at the time how exhausting it can become for people with limited energetic resources. Especially sensitive people. Especially people already trying to survive burnout, chronic stress, overwhelm, motherhood, chronic fatigue, caregiving, anxiety, depression, or simply the emotional weight of modern life.
Because eventually, if you aren’t careful, social media can slowly turn into a place where your attention is constantly circling back toward yourself.
How am I perceived?
What should I say?
Was that valuable enough?
Did people engage?
Should I post more?
Should I share more of myself?
That loop is part of what causes a lot of dislike for social media, for me and others.
Not necessarily the sharing itself.
But the self-focus of it all.
The constant pressure to package yourself.
Promote yourself.
Optimize yourself.
Monetize yourself.
Think about yourself.
And then compare that with everyone else who is posting.
And now nothing can just be for you to enjoy, like all of mankind used to do, with any hobby or skill. No, NOW it has to be shared in a way that adds money to your pocket in order for it to MATTER.
After about five years of what I would consider relatively successful online business building, I eventually shut it all down and started over.
Not because I hated the internet.
Not because I hated people.
Not because I failed.
But because I had learned about myself.
I wanted to be a person again. Not an offer or brand to the masses. I just wanted to be someone who loved things. Saw a reel and wanted you to see it too. Saw a post that hit a nerve so i shared it. Took a great photo and wanted some friends to see it with me too.
So I started fresh. I only post when I want to. On a new social account that’s for the people who like me for me. It doesn’t have any memory of the various versions of who i was pretending to be in order to sell something. That perfected, strategic version that felt the need to market skills and hobbies for money instead of the life-giving value they have. No, this account is where I can just talk about the life that really I have always been called to live: One that honors my home commitments first, that sees thriving as peace and harmony not money, and where i am building a life for my family that feels:
Quiet.
Gentle.
Purposeful.
I’m no longer selling a product. And the product isn’t me or something i sell.
I’m content and thriving in my contract life coaching work. I don’t need to talk about it at all if I don’t want to.
I don’t need to convince anyone of anything missing from their own life in order to succeed at my own.
I just…share what’s on my mind and heart.
Sometimes often.
Sometimes not at all.
Sometimes I disappear for days or weeks because I’m living my actual life. The one that lasts. The one that I’m creating with my husband and kids.
And when I come back, I share what I’m thinking about that day.
The kind of world I want to create.
The beauty I noticed.
The rhythms I’m learning.
The life I want more of.
This quieter approach to social media has brought the joy back for me.
No pressure.
No constant chasing of metrics or algorithms or likes.
Just authentically me.
And as I’ve been reflecting on all of this, I’ve also been thinking about you, and the dramatic emotional places we can all go with social media. Loving it. Hating it. Needing it. Resenting it. Wanting to disappear from it completely while simultaneously craving connection amd the dopamine boost it can give.
And so I’ve been on both sides.
I don’t think there’s one right perspective.
I just think many of us are tired.
Tired of performance.
Tired of busyness.
Tired of turning ourselves and our passions and hobbies into products.
Tired of being told we’re missing out if we’re not making money online.
Tired of being forced to update who we are to fit inside of all of this modern tech we are drowning in.
I think we miss sincerity and simplicity.
We need less content about ourselves and the latest product that ‘changed our lives’ and more conversations about what we see in the world around us. What we value. What we care about.
More beauty.
More meaning.
More values.
More ordinary life.
More “this mattered to me today.”
Because for so long, I shared for a reason.
Now I share because I want to.
~ Molly
Life, I got it — I just need a nap first.
✨ Chase more life with me on Instagram at @ijustneedanapfirsthttps://www.instagram.com/ijustneedanapfirst?igsh=ZXFoY3NmOHR3ejV0&utm_source=qr
